How do small differences erupt in nasty fallout? Although conflict is a natural part of life, it does not always have to result in strife. Strife is the condition of restlessness. It is the absence of peace that occurs when conflict remains unresolved, festering into bitterness, hostility and malice. It is the conditions of mind and emotion that is the enemy of human connection. Understanding this helps us to develop awareness and become more intentional to eradicate strife whenever it rears its ugly head.
Strife is rooted in darkness—a condition of perceived helplessness that seeks to weaponize pain into a form of vigilante justice. Unfortunately, the courtrooms of the United States are overflowing with this energy. Justice is not always served by punishment. Under American law, punishment is a form of justice which is generally reserved for extreme misconduct, rather than the ordinary offenses that occur as a result of human nature, neglect, or poor judgment. In fact, justice is most often served by the principle of mercy. Mercy is rooted in the acknowledgment of your own faults, failures, and flaws. It is an awareness that at any given moment, you too, may inadvertently offend, harm, or disrespect another person just as easily as you yourself were injured.
Simply stated: Nobody is perfect.
And this is the key that unlocks peace in the midst of conflict. Perhaps what your coworker said to you lacked emotional intelligence or sensitivity. The sting of the offense causes you to look at them with distrust and suspicion. But were they motivated to harm you that way? Very often, the sting of offense drives people into a form of “emotional rationalization” that crates a logical conclusion. The conclusion created from emotional logic is an explanation of the other person’s intent. “If they didn’t mean to be disrespectful, then they would have never said something like that…”.
Practicing mercy gives you permission to forgive yourself and others. It resolves any internal conflict you may have about mistakes you’ve made that you are actually secretly punishing yourself for. The justice you are seeking—surprisingly—actually comes from the peace you create by processing your own emotions from the position of one who is powerful enough to extend mercy, rather than one who is so powerless you are desperate for the instant gratification of punishment.
As the colloquialism goes, “don’t take my meekness for weakness.” From an etymological analysis, we find evidence that rings true for the merciful. The root meanings of the word, compassion, are “from” and “strength.” The person who did not curse you out in response to your reckless attitude is not weak. The person who maintains a respectful and kind tone in response to nastiness is not spineless. Rather, these responses are evidence of maturity. They signal a person who has mastered the discipline of emotion, thought, and the law of kindness.
So if you find yourself in a cesspool of strife, rethink your strategy. Are you involved in a tennis match of punishment, striking back harder than you were struck. Is your connection slowly bleeding out from a death of a thousand cuts, rooted in malice, unforgiveness, or resentment? If so, you do not have to remain in strife. Peace—the force which is opposite of strife—is more easily accessible that you can imagine. What if they actually did mean to harm you? Are they responding from an undisclosed fear where you have become the villain in their story? What if the person who you see behaving like a vicious monster is actually revealing their alter ego, whose job is to protect the frightened little child that always had to protect themselves? What if this conflict presented itself to you to become an instrument of true justice—healing—for the other person?
What if the mercy you give becomes the mercy you receive? This is the most counterintuitive, yet powerful key to mastering strife and enjoying enduring peace.
Be blessed and encouraged,
Judge Char
This post is curated 100% from human effort and is not Ai generated.
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