How can you create a peaceful connection with another person if you do not first have a peaceful connection with yourself?
This is a challenge we can all benefit from revisiting annually or even quarterly. The reason is simple: there is constant pressure to conform your identity to the various roles you carry.
Spouse… Parent… Child… Employee… Founder… Community member…
To the degree that our roles complement one another, identity conflict is rare. Inevitably, however, life tosses a few painful curveballs that force an identity analysis. Whether it is the loss of a loved one, a job, or a friendship, the "birth pangs" of life challenge all of us at an identity level.
Ultimately, I believe the agony, loss, and frustration presented to us at various milestones are actually exciting invitations. Like a sunflower seed, we all carry the potential of a large, beautiful flower. But how do you go from seed to bloom?
The sunflower seed is first planted in the darkness of the earth. It is alone. Yet the pressure of the dirt above, the isolation of the soil, and the watering from the storms are the perfect recipe. This environment unlocks the "law" that abides within the seed.
This is exactly how life works upon the seed of our identity. Pain—when we process it—drives us into reflection, and the power of this reflection is to bring you to the "valley of decision."
- Who am I in response to this loss, disappointment, or curveball? * How is that identity consistent with the legacy I desire to leave behind?
So, which decision resolves the conflict?
For each storm that passes, you can choose to grow closer to the sun, reaching for your full potential. This is the decision that builds your confidence. This is the person you can look in the eye and be at peace with.
Making peace with who you are, who you are becoming, and how you will be remembered is foundational. It is the platform from which all connections with others become attainable and sustainable.
Be blessed and encouraged,
Judge Char
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