“I wish we had met you two years ago,” said Brandy, a 46-year-old wife in the middle of active litigation. She discovered Law for Love while searching for a mediator on the eve of her contested divorce.
I politely declined her case. Divorce mediation is no longer in my scope of practice.
“I only handle marriage rebuilds,” I explained. “I’m no longer in the divorce business.”
From Divorce Attorney to Marriage Mediator
For years, I struggled to help people make the connection: How does a divorce attorney switch sides and become a marriage counselor? It was a natural shift for me—empathy and compassion had always guided my work. Even as a divorce attorney, my goal was to help clients navigate the process with less pain: Less conflict, less expense, and less destruction.
But when I answered the call to marriage mediation, I knew people would struggle to see the link between my specialized knowledge of divorce law and the powerful insight it offers to couples who are not quite ready to give up hope.
Attorney James Sexton said it best in his interview on The Diary of a CEO when he described lawyers as life counselors—legally trained and uniquely positioned to recognize the patterns of marital failure. When I heard him say that, I nearly leaped out of my seat and shouted, Amen! He articulated exactly what so many of us in the legal field already know about failed marriages.
More and more attorneys are showing up on social media, offering “life advice.” Why? Because we’ve seen it all. But too often, people—like Brandy—don’t realize the value of legal insight until it’s too late, after someone has called it quits and filed for divorce.
Why Divorce Mediation Never Felt Like "Success"
During my time practicing mediated divorces, I had a 100% completion rate. Every couple I worked with reached a full agreement that was adopted by the court, avoiding the misery of contested litigation.
But something about it didn’t feel like success.
How is completing a divorce a victory?
With very few exceptions—such as cases involving violence or crimes against children—I never saw divorce as a true success. Case after case, family after family, I felt the weight of grief. I watched two people who still loved each other divide their possessions, split time with their children, and walk away from shared intimacy.
Even when I took comfort in knowing I had helped families avoid the “meat grinder” of litigation, it still hurt. Deeply.
The Epiphany that Changed Everything
I turned to mediation because it was a more humane way to handle divorce. In 90% of cases, litigation simply made no sense.
But after five years of mediating divorces, I had an even greater realization:
It makes no sense for more than 85% of divorcing couples to mediate their divorce when they could mediate their differences BEFORE reaching the breaking point.
The opportunities to practice this approach actually found me. By some divine intervention, couples whose marriages were seemingly dead on arrival reached out for divorce advice while expressing reluctance to end their marriage. I offered and began applying the exact same mediation methods I had used in divorce cases.
The results were nothing short of miraculous.
Mediation built a bridge of communication, cooperation, and connection—restoring intimacy. And the reason it worked? These couples found me two years before their unresolved conflict drove them to divorce court.
From Career to Calling
Call it divine inspiration. Call it crazy. But today, I can confidently call my domestic relations caseload a 100% success.
Mediators are interpreters. We are skillful listeners who filter out the pain and triggers, identifying common ground and opportunities for agreement. These small agreements—what I call “micro-agreements”—are the building blocks that reverse the trajectory of divorce and restore hope and intimacy to marriages.
What made me a compassionate divorce attorney was the same heartbreak I once experienced in my own marriage. But what saved my marriage? The very legal realities I had witnessed in my own caseload.
This isn’t a coincidence.
It’s my calling. My duty to hurting families.
Is Marriage Mediation the Missing Link for You?
If you or someone you know:
✅ Is a person of faith
✅ Has tried pastoral care but keeps falling back into the same patterns of conflict
✅ Has tried couples therapy, but one spouse has disengaged
✅ Has invested in marriage workshops, retreats, and counseling, only to feel resentful about wasted time and money
✅ Is a person of faith
✅ Has tried pastoral care but keeps falling back into the same patterns of conflict
✅ Has tried couples therapy, but one spouse has disengaged
✅ Has invested in marriage workshops, retreats, and counseling, only to feel resentful about wasted time and money
Then marriage mediation may be the missing link to restoring the communication and connection you’ve been longing for.
Book a 1-on-1 or couple's strategy session today to receive your personalized mediation roadmap and restructure strategy.
To your future,
Judge Char
