Courtroom Custody Casualties: The American domestic hostage situation

It is more commonplace for today’s youth to openly discuss their broken families with peers. They numbly or cynically share tidbits from their parents’ divorce. They have fallen into the rhythm of week-on at dad’s, week-off from mom’s. They even have separate sets of clothing, devices and Wi-Fi passwords.

 

They are the casualties of war.

 

And even worse, a growing trend resulting in alienation of parents from their children has continued unchecked as abusive litigation persists.  One of the first studies to quantify this social phenomenon, found nearly 22 million Americans, or 13.4% of divorcing parents, reported alienating behaviors by their former partner. ( Jennifer J. Harman et. al., Prevalence of parental alienation drawn from a representative poll). Like it or not, children are psychologically harmed when they are separated from a parent due to the parents’ inability to resolve their differences. And when you have navigated the halls of family court for any length of time, you hear the allegation of alienation allegation ad nauseum.  We are often asked by parents:

 

My initial attitude towards this line of questioning is the frowny face emoji mixed with confusion and doubt. Consequently, I have developed quite the reputation for pissing parents off by responding:

As conflict rages in international theater, let’s not forget about the domestic casualties being held hostage in American homes every single day. They are collateral damage. They are jaded and frustrated. And even worse, they have little or no say in 70% of cases. And as the grownups in their community, I believe we have work to do to make them visible, to hear them, and to take action to better protect them.

 

Be blessed and encouraged,

 

Judge Char