It was a long day. You gave it your all. At the end of your day job, you transition straight into your afternoon taxi service—running kids all around town for various activities. Perhaps it’s a rotisserie chicken kinda night, or a quick Chipotle bowl for everyone. You’ve been going and going like the Energizer bunny. A thought brushes your consciousness: Why does it seem like the more I do, the less my husband shows up? And when you finally get a second to yourself, to simply wind down…you scroll.
Your friendly neighborhood algorithm knows exactly what you like. It sends you a soothing, satisfying, or stimulating stream of consciousness that gets the job done. And then you stumble across the one that triggers you the most. It’s “her” again. Skipping through a field of flowers, smiling without a care in the world with her man, holder her hand and grinning like he just won the lottery.
I can’t stand them.
Not because they are happy. To the contrary, they get on my nerves because they are studio ready but are not keeping it real. How do I know? Because they are the same jokers calling the divorce attorney when the lace front fade becomes exposed. And what infuriates me about them even more, is that they are misinforming you about how marriage really feels, looks, and works. So after you consume another “reel of fakery,” you begin battling within yourself, looking for all the reason you don’t have what “they” have. While “they” are simply reeling without reality.
I mention this because my own marriage was on the struggle bus of power struggle. And you know what? The #1 reason I did not follow through with a divorce was because I knew what was happening behind the scenes in so many other professional people’s lives. I knew the fights they were having. I had intimate details about their bedrooms and how things went all wrong. I had access to the truth. And it was the truth behind every smiling face that drove me to dig deeper for true justice and conflict resolution.
Reels drive the appetite. They take advantage of you while you are already tired and feeling lonely in a marriage where you are both desperate for connection. Reels ignite the appeal of Instant gratification. They stoke the fires of feeling constant dissatisfaction. Can you see how this is stirring the emotional pot of your own internal strife? Are you making demands of your partner based on a fantasy reel? Or are you creating healthy boundaries that promote harmony based on who you really are and who they really are?
I’m reminded of an old school song, “If you think you’re lonely now, wait until tonight, girl.” The argument made by the man in the song was that he had no way of competing with everybody else’s man. His woman’s demands were driving him away. He was desperate for her to see how she was setting herself up for the ultimate loneliness of losing love in pursuit of public appearances.
And that is the true threat of reels versus reality. Please don’t get got. There are a lot of people that have solved the marriage puzzle. But that did not happen in an instant. Navigating conflict is part of the winning recipe. But if you are constantly feasting on images, videos and content that are feeding your discontentment while you are in the midst of a stormy season, you may be blocking your own prayers. God is not a genie in a bottle. He’s not just going to answer your prayer that your husband transforms into prince charming overnight and makes all of your dreams come true. That’s just not reality.
But when you increase your capacity for true love, you create a space where your prayers will be answered. Realize how your content consumption is actually making things worse for your emotional state, outlook on life and how you perceive your mn’s value. Then do something about it. Take action to minimize its impact on your feelings. Guard the gates of your mind that are driving repeated thoughts of unhappiness and dissatisfaction which have been driving you to pick fights with your own husband. When you do this, you increase the odds for successfully navigating conflict with your man. Please… don’t let the scroll keep you down.
Be blessed and encouraged,
Judge Char
Human connection disclaimer: This post is 100% human curated and is not generated by Ai.
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