Are you angry with your husband because he isn't being a spiritual leader for your home? Have you been complaining to your mother, your sister, or your friends that he refuses to go to church or find a church home for the family? What if his refusal to attend church is actually a form of spiritual leadership?
This is because of the #1 reason many men have left the church: the church has become "spooky." It's more about emotions than evidence. A man's mind seeks evidence of power. And if he refuses to join your church, chances are he isn't seeing that power in your church.
In fact, he sees that your relationship is more strained because you tell him what your preacher says, but you don't listen to him. You put more value on your pastor's words than on your own man's. He's seeing evidence of disrespect. Your man may feel that you're treating him disrespectfully by putting a higher value on another man's words over his.
Consider how his refusal to sit in a spooky place that lacks faith is actually how he's showing you how not to be emotionally manipulated. In fact, he's doing what Adam didn't. Adam witnessed his woman being emotionally manipulated by the serpent and did not challenge the serpent. He left that snake unchecked. When your man refuses to be in a place where he is being emotionally manipulated, he is showing you how to discipline your emotions to examine a thing to see whether or not it's true.
When there's no truth, there's no conviction. When there's no conviction, there's no transformation. If there's no transformation, then what you have when churches gather is a bunch of married folks pretending to have happy marriages while they can't stand each other at home. Just because a woman is in church with her man doesn't mean they are in agreement at home, and your man recognizes that something's wrong. What he's seeing as evidence from your church is the weakening and emasculation of men, and the empowering of women to speak disrespectfully to their man.
So if you want to demonstrate to your husband the evidence that what you believe is the truth, it begins with the discipline of your emotions. When he sees the discipline of your emotions, he has the evidence he needs to trust you. He'll begin to turn his ear to your counsel when he sees the evidence that your emotions are disciplined enough to discern truth from deception.
My challenge to you is that the next time you're tempted to speak negatively about what your husband isn't doing as a spiritual leader, be thankful that he's doing what Adam failed to do. Be thankful that your man has enough discipline over his emotions not to sit in a place where he feels guilty and ashamed, and not to give money, service, or loyalty where he isn't being instructed in the evidence and power of his faith.
There should be a connection between heaven and earth that provides evidence that this thing is real, and that's why your man won't go to church.
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